She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ttyl tear gas
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
