I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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