got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize