He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
