Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
