im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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