you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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