just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize