all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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