That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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