Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
