i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
