dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just high enough for therapy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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