but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
