Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
