just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize