Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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