she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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