Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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