i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize