If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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