I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
