He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
