He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
