hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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