Christians are straight up FREAKS
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
