The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
