Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
