It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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