as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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