the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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