U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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