using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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