i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
