A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
