oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
