so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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