Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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