if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
