So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
