I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
