i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
