Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
