Duck Duck Cougar?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize