Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My ATM looks so different sober.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
