I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
