god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize