there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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