look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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