I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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