i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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