a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize