Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
