just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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