im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
