Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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