Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
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