You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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