your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize