the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
