i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
