I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize