Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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