yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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