I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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