So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize