You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
