If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
