yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
