is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
tell me about the fingering
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
