why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize