im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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